a longtime “friend”

is visiting tomorrow. this is another one of her persistent attempts at reaching out to me these past couple weeks. i wonder if it will be again followed by a “wrench in the plan”. this is what i’ve come to expect of her, seeing as she has cancelled on me more times than i can count. i literally have seen more of my friends that live in different areas of the state-or different states for that matter-than i have this supposed best friend who lives 15 minutes away. i’m not quite sure how to approach her in the event she does actually show up. i know that i am supposed to welcome everyone with open arms and extend kindness unconditionally. it’s just hard when she has pained me so much. i don’t even know that i will be able to look at her or be completely at ease for fear of putting myself back in that vulnerable place where she can toy with my emotions; make me believe for a second that i can trust in her to be there and then have her follow with more negligence. i never thought someone could do so much hurt by doing so little.