i love everything i have.

and isn’t that what people are continually trying to instill in us? that the key to happiness isn’t longing for something else but coming to appreciate all that you already have- counting your blessings at any given opportunity? it’s such an odd concept. that having gratitude and being grateful and often times returning the favor to those who have served you well can grant you happiness beyond compare. maybe it’s the people that have loved you, the ones that are loyal and whose hearts have remained open to you, the ones that are already beside you that are responsible for such happiness. something i have been so shameful of this past summer is my focusing on detrimental relationships and my undermining of the kind souls who care enough to reach out to me. the pain which i have essentially invited into my own life has, in turn, hurt those who care for me most. it’s not right that because i feel essentially abandoned by a particular friend that i don’t acknowledge the wonderful company of people like my mother, my stepfather, my dogs, my sister, my closest friends, my God. it’s selfish. and though certain people in my life have proved to be equally if not more selfish, i am called to be something greater. i will not settle for a life lived as the victim. i will rise above such superficial nonsense and continue to extend my love to everyone, whether i think they are deserving of it or not. for, it really isn’t my place to say. because God made all of us, and is in all of us. “the divine in me” should “celebrate the divine in you.”

and such divinity is certainly more obscured in certain people. it’s hard to believe that someone who seems so conditioned to hurt and breed pain and passive aggressiveness is a sacred being. but i just have to reassure myself that these people are hurting, more so than myself. and it’s for such reasons that they cannot fully embrace God in their lives and live in accordance with his message. i am just so fortunate that i have come to realize who i am, what i am comprised of, and what i have to be thankful for.